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German opera singer Maria Radner
Maria Radner: ‘She would give you the world and then come back to check if you wanted more.’ Photograph: IAAC/MARIUS RITTMEYER/HANDOUT/EPA
Maria Radner: ‘She would give you the world and then come back to check if you wanted more.’ Photograph: IAAC/MARIUS RITTMEYER/HANDOUT/EPA

Maria Radner, my beloved friend

This article is more than 9 years old

Fellow singer Karen Cargill remembers a colleague – lost in the Germanwings disaster – who became so much more

She was the most generous spirited person I have ever met. Hysterical laughter, an obsession with all things Burberry, unadulterated passion for Bayern Munich and the warmest of hugs were things you could always be guaranteed of when you were with her. Her son and partner were her whole life. Maria Radner was my beloved friend.

I first met Maria in New York in December 2011 while we were both working on the Robert LePage production of Wagner’s Ring Cycle at the Metropolitan Opera. Along with our dear friend Heidi Melton we three became inseparable. Opera singers have to make family wherever they go as a survival mechanism for a life constantly on the road, but rarely does it mean being in each other’s pockets as we were. Breakfast, coffee breaks, lunch, dinner, evening chats – that was our timetable, the three Wagneteers!

Karen Cargill, Maria Radner, Heidi Melton
‘The three Wagneteers’ - Maria Radner, Karen Cargill and Heidi Melton. Photograph: Karen Cargill

We remained in regular contact when the contract ended, calling on Skype, chatting via text and email, it was a true and enduring bond between us all. Maria and I worked together again in London during the Royal Opera Ring Cycle in August 2012; again, we were inseparable.

Whenever there was a chance that we might be in close vicinity while on the road we would make the time to see one another. Opera family became a real family.

Maria was an incredible musician who you felt spoke directly to you – she was a true communicator. Her voice had a beautiful bronzed hue, full and round; the warmth of her personality always shone through. She loved singing, it was who she was. A more elegant and poised woman you couldn’t hope to find and yet underneath was someone whose laughter was deep, guttural and contagious, who loved cheesy pop music and had the stamina to dance all night. Her delightfully wicked sense of humour was infectious.

Maria as First Norn in Wagner’s Götterdämmerung at the Salzburg Easter Festival. Photograph: Kerstin Joensson/AP

Music was Maria’s entire life until she met her partner and they had their son. I was lucky enough to witness her as the incredible mother she was, completely in love with her family - she had found her home. Heidi and I were always updated with pictures of her beautiful son, beginning with his very first ultrasound picture. He was her joy and her heart.

There are so many memories to share, too many to mention.

One that speaks loudest is when my own husband and son came to visit me in New York. I think Maria and Heidi were more excited than me! A whole day of exploring was planned around child-friendly activities, museum visits, fun restaurants and the inevitable visit to the toy store. That was Maria, she would give you the world and then come back to check if you wanted more.

As Erda in the Royal Opera House’s 2012 Ring Cycle. Photograph: Donald Cooper/ROH

As musicians we take travel for granted. We are nomads who bundle our lives into a suitcase and never completely unpack because the next job is always on the horizon. We leave our loved ones and live these strange existences that swing from the loneliness of the anonymous hotel room to the euphoria of the stage. Family life becomes quick phone calls during a break, bedtime stories by Skype and many tears shed. Our community is quite small and we become cocooned within the project we are working on, our colleagues become our surrogate family. In light of this terrible tragedy our opera family is in mourning for wonderful colleagues lost, who had so much more to give. Our thoughts are with all of the relatives and friends affected by this tragedy, in particular Maria’s immediate family.

And Heidi and I mourn for our beautiful friend whose bright light will stay in our hearts forever.

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